How to avoid becoming a victim of emotional abuse of her husband
Many trapped ladies admit that they could not recognize the emotional pressure in time. as usual, they suck their prey as a resource, pass through hard-working years together, grind and throw it to the side of life, and then follow the next batch of fresh meat. The nature of emotional pressure is connected with the complexes of self-doubt, and with the obsessive priority of the importance of a man in a family, imparted by the inadequate love of a boy as he grows up. If you indulge such pressures from the very beginning of a relationship, then you will not be able to neutralize it afterwards.
I have the best mom
It often happens that mom, if she didn’t give herself a “toy”, she just loved over the edge and blew dust particles so carefully that her son learned to tie his shoelaces for almost twelve years. Even though the miracle was studied, for example, it was diligent, and the geometry was put on the top five with a fat plus, but in terms of family life it is a savage who produces fire with stones.He was not forced to wash the floors and clean his own room, help his father in the garage, and his grandfather — in the garden beds. He grew up and did not know that people sometimes “break” - they need rest, time to recover and, of course, minimal indulgence and help during illnesses. Such seemingly unwritten rules of humanity that do not require comments, however, for an emotional aggressor is a closed book that he and others like him may never know until the end of life. Such men are deprived of sympathy, understanding, pity and love only themselves. Even a mother who raised her son in love and self-sacrifice can easily fall under his hot and ruthless hand.
Emotional pressure in the first stages of meeting with future home tyrants can follow two traditional scenarios. The first is infantile, due to Peter Pan's syndrome, when “he, as before, was a little boy, and she was already an adult woman. But he did not notice anything, because he was busy with himself. " The second is the path of Narcissus, less elegant, but more assertive and bright. But they are still connected by one important feature - the emotional suppression and humiliation of the person who responded to them in return.
Peter Pan Syndrome
A similar woman will meet a woman and wait for her to start collecting honey with a bee around this nectar of precious tinkering, honey for him. And if the young lady was not used to caring for a man herself and quietly waiting for movements in her own direction, this frame will begin to explain in stages its philosophy with the available definitions.
For example, from the very beginning of a relationship, he asks a woman to prove love by his actions or demands early loyalty from her chosen one, when the young lady barely familiar to him has won by men's actions, but already traumatizes her requests to no longer communicate with anyone: you see, plans are available
He always probes the ground before stepping, for example, constantly asks: “And if I do this for you, then will you agree?” In fact, he does not want to waste time on courtship and conquest, if the lady does not approve his candidacy.
Some women instantly bite off a lazy, "huckster", who does not do anything very much during the time of acquaintance, except as he grumbles and guarantees the guarantees. But there are those ladies who are already pushing at this moment.Such men sometimes fly into relationships too swiftly, feed them with ungrounded flattering “You are only mine!” Not because they are affected by the most passionate tomatoes, but because they are too lazy. Too lazy to search for a long time, to go through difficulties, possible whims, unnecessary spending and other difficult moments of the first acquaintance. So imitate early loyalty to fight the victim with artificial love.
Their tactics are maximally simple, built on the principle of conversion: knowing that not every Madame will agree on everything, they take everybody from the shelf, they say, three will refuse - the fourth will agree. Such “nuggets” of women are bribed by the fact that they are absolutely not afraid of responsibility, from which normal men at the beginning of a relationship run like cockroaches from a broom. The fitter will gladly share with you the living space, preferably, of course, yours, will marry in a year and begin to "want" children. Yes, so want to be straight that will insist, drowning the female heart with sweet thoughts about fatherhood. Children for them - the strongest weapon of female weakness and vulnerability. Peter Pan, by all means tightly tied to themselves and only after kink.
This fellow is initiative, like a jet engine, he surprises, amazes and delights. There are a million pranks in my head and ways to entice a woman with non-primitive male methods, which certainly flatters the future victim. He can make plans long before the meeting, and the most pleasant thing is that you don't even need to fit a man with your whip and initiatives. In fact, it turns out that he in fact strictly observes his own interests, and therefore does everything himself. A little later, the woman finds out that it was not planned to go on a visit to her mother for three months in advance, and any attempt to incorporate her own plans into the common will be buried in his iron "no." True, by this time the victim is already in the networks of marriage and with small children in her arms.
Half the people with whom you communicate can immediately get on the list of people with bad influence; the comrade will carefully study your girlfriends on the subject of suitability and decide for himself who will reasonably keep in touch, naturally it will work under the guise of “I want to protect you from bad consequences”. It can constantly create situations where natural female weaknesses open up in all its glory.
The aggressors are fluent in the game of guilt, shame and gaps in knowledge
“What are you talking about? What have you done? Because of you, we are again! .. Do not blurt if you do not know! ”These are the“ return points ”that he will constantly remember and use as arguments for the following manipulations.
One should not confuse such male behavior with the primitive stamp of a “mama's son”, in contrast to which the emotional aggressor will not hide behind a women's skirt and ask for parental advice. The house tyrant, crippled by internal complexes, seeks the way of comfortable adjustment to the routine of family affairs at the expense of the woman’s strength, and at the same time “feeds” on the negative emotions that the victim will experience during the pressure. Or maybe in this near future, anything will happen ... Unfortunately, the situation with the aggressor can most often be corrected only by leaving.
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