How to tell the truth?
We all have life situations that we don’t want to talk about at all. Sometimes it is easier to either keep silent about what happened, or come up with an alternative version of events. But it often happens that it is better to tell the truth.
Why do we have time
Experts estimate that an average adult lies 50 times a day. It happens, of course, when to tell the truth is simply impossible. But usually this is a fleeting household lie, while uttering that, we do not even think that time. We justify ourselves by the fact that "this does not harm anyone." So what if we pretend to be sick, so as not to go with our parents to the country? No one will die from this - we argue.
Psychologists claim that in most situations it is very easy to avoid lies. And people lie only because they do not know how to properly build trusting relationships in the family, with friends, or at work. Of course, it is easier to refer to the disease than to explain to parents why we don’t want to go to the country exactly today. It's easier to lie to the boss about the flood in the apartment than to honestly admit: I overslept today.
But any lie pulls one more.In order not to fall for a lie, it is necessary to invent new details and try not to get confused in them.
And if the examples given are small things in life, then there are also serious situations that entail serious lies. No matter how much we want to avoid it, we must learn to speak the truth.
"Tell me who your friend is ..."
Before deciding how to tell the truth, make sure that it needs to be done right now. If you have nowhere to go, prepare for the conversation. Psychologists are advised to begin to determine what type of your interlocutor: visual, audial or kinesthetic. If you know a person for a long time, it will be easy to remember how he perceives information better. The audial needs to be heard, the visual prefers to see everything with his own eyes, but touch and tactile sensations are important to kinesthetics.
With this decided. What does this give us? In a conversation with a visual, use as many “visual” key words as possible: you see, look, let's see and so on. At the same time try to look into his eyes. It is better if an unpleasant conversation takes place in a beautiful place: a park, on the river bank, in a cozy cafe.
In a conversation with an audial, use the words: listen, hear, listen to me, etc. But eye contact here may be inappropriate. Better to put a pleasant music background.
Words are the keys to kinesthetics: I feel, feel, hard, soft, etc. Another way to the kinesthetic heart is to touch. Accidentally touch his hand, touch his shoulder, stroke his knee, etc., depending on the level of your relationship.
When and how to tell the truth
First, start a difficult conversation only when both you and your interlocutor are in a calm state of mind, and the atmosphere around the congregation is sufficiently favorable for a leisurely conversation.
Secondly, when you talk, talk about your experiences, tell us how unpleasant this situation is for you.
Thirdly, always listen carefully to what the other person will tell you, even if it is unpleasant.
Of course, the behavior strategy depends on the situation. For example, in the question of how to tell a guy the truth that you no longer love him, you need to be particularly delicate. But at the same time, one should not delay recognition and give false hopes. Tell me honestly: feelings are over, but you are not to blame for this, it happens in life.In any case, it will be unpleasant for him to hear this, so it’s not worth it in vain to sweeten the bitter pill. But from accusations against him is better to refrain, at least out of respect for the former feelings.
So you do not have to get out, it is better to avoid lying. Think, is it necessary to lie? It is always better to understand the reasons that do not allow you to tell the truth.
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