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Midlife crisis in women

Erofeevskaya Natalya

In conversations about a mid-life crisis, men are invariably in the role of protagonists. However, psychologists have long believed, and this is proved by millions of everyday examples, the middle-aged female crisis - the natural psychological state of the weak half of humanity that occurs between thirty and forty years. Such a time frame for a “crisis” age is conditional and imprecise and varies depending on social status, standard of living, character, and even education.

The crisis of any age is characterized by clear criteria by which it is easy to identify. At such moments, a person (a toddler, a rebellious teenager, or an adult of 35-40 years old) understands that life does not go along the wrong track and that it is necessary to make urgent changes.

The conventional concept of crisis in women sometimes tends to spill over into life disasters. And if someone sobs a couple of times at the mirror, and the crisis is over,then some of them are covered in full - dissatisfaction with their own lives and accumulating drops of themselves with themselves, in order to later erupt on anything suspecting the environment with a powerful avalanche.

Midlife crisis in women

The middle age crisis of a woman in two words consists in reassessing her previous decisions: choosing a husband, building a career, setting life goals, raising children, etc. At this time, divorce proceedings and the change of profession or the acquisition of an original hobby are so frequent. Internal conflict marks the time of reconciliation of old habits with new elections and newly emerging internal life positions.

A life of inner contradictions is proof of your presence on this planet.

Summing up the preliminary results

Not only men, but also women are prone to some summing up of the preliminary results of their life path. But for men, it is usually a career, material wealth, success on the love front, and for women - self-digging in their emotional state, appearance assessment, satisfaction with personal and family life.

Childless women understandthat they are approaching the threshold of the possibility of childbearing and they have been given literally two or three years to know the happiness of long-awaited motherhood, and those who have children passionately want to give birth to another child in order to regain the bright, once-experienced feelings.

Female midlife crisis is not always a psychological attack, natural hormonal changes may be the reason for it

For a business woman, everything is much more complicated: purely male issues are added to women's problems and experiences - career success and material wealth. And so, summing up the preliminary results, such a woman is forced to break between the two opposite forms she has created, trying to combine a successful (as a man) career and a happy (as a woman) family life. Contradictory assessments and advancement in one area, entailing “subsidence” in another, give unsuccessful attempts to embrace the immense and depressive failures.

Midlife crisis in women

Midlife crisis in women: symptoms

The female crisis period has very specific symptoms. If one of them is really present in life - there is a reason to be wary and try to do something,and if they crowd in pursuit of their possessor, then the crisis is there and urgent measures are needed for swimming out of the depressive, swamping “swamp”:

1. Feeling full of hopelessness and joylessness of a passing life. Anxiety and self-doubt form a clear idea that life is over and all the best is left behind. Relationships with the spouse leave much to be desired, the children have matured and no longer need the mother, the parties with friends do not please or ignite as in the good old days, the “left” novels bring only bitterness and emptiness.

The loss of familiar landmarks does not allow a woman to push off from them for a new dizzying turn. The worst thing you can do is passively continue to sit still, sharpening the memories of long gone days to the ideal. All unfulfilled hopes, dreams, myths, illusions and ideals must be mourned and buried: to give up the past irrevocably is one of the most important stages of overcoming the crisis.

At this stage it is worthwhile to listen to your screaming intuition for a long time and proceed to action. Interesting and exciting activities - fitness, yoga, art and creative workshops,swimming pool, Chinese language courses: anything, giving new, interesting communication and fresh strong emotions. Women who have the desire and the makings of a professional career, it's time to try to self-actualize in a suitable area - yes, it can be very difficult, but it will mobilize all the forces of the body and raise the sense of self to a new standard of living.

Midlife crisis in women

2. Constant irritability and suspiciousness, sudden and inexplicable tears, completely unbearable internal discord.

Before you try to break something drastically in life, you should think about how prepared I am to part with only my husband, who is dissatisfied, give up some interesting work and sit on unemployment benefits, break off relations with friends, realizing that faithful and necessary now and in the afternoon with fire you will not find?

Regrets about unfulfilled hopes and dreams should not allow unfortunate experiences to put an end to subsequent moves ahead: you should find new sources of inspiration and creation of interesting directions of self-development.

3. Catastrophic dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance and utter despondency at the sight of one’s reflection in the mirror: cellulite on the thighs is immediately visible,who has not found himself the last 10 years; overweight; wrinkles around the eyes, literally turning into an old woman; hair is not hair, but a sponge, and even with gray, and so on.

By nature, women experience external age changes more seriously and more acutely than men.

During this period, it is important to take the fact of natural changes for granted and make them less tangible: fitness, a successful diet, normal sleep, developed shoulders and proud posture, effective cosmetology procedures will help to improve the appearance and change the rejection of one’s own appearance. A global change in hairstyle and wardrobe is also a peculiar way of resolving crisis symptoms of this type.

It is worth realizing that a woman does not have to be a classic perfection to be loved - it is enough to be an interesting person, have a normal self-esteem and not underestimate her own merits. And the gray ... - so what? Many self-confident women do not paint over it at all, finding in it a special charm and individual style.

Do not overestimate the physical resources of your own body: twofoldness, tripleness and n-veinness - this is not for women. It is important to remember: youth is really prolonged, it is only necessary to establish a healthy regime and overcome laziness - cheerful and energetic women with an active attitude always look younger than their peer and crushed life problems peers.

Midlife crisis in women

4. Estimation of one's own success in various life directions is far from the highest. Self-digestion is characteristic of complex natures, housewives and women who lack new sensations, discoveries, and external environments. For the household option, it’s possible to realize abilities and zeal only in pies and raising children, but a woman is a diversified nature, and if the work for hire is unattractive for a number of reasons, then your own small business will help you to plan your working day properly, leaving room for the family, both for children and for a hobby. Success in one or several endeavors will immediately raise the self-esteem that is necessary to overcome the crisis phenomena.

But for single women who have built a successful career, the time has come to think about creating a family and having a child - the ability to make the right decisions, consistency and consistency in actions will allow you to become a tender and caring mother.Age is not a hindrance: medicine has advanced far ahead and will help if necessary during pregnancy, and the little man will become that necessary new life guide that will help build a different life from the past.

Sometimes it is useful to revise the circle of your acquaintances. Pastime with pleasant people is expensive, but one must get rid of envious people, gossipers and competitors - not literally (slam and bury), but limit contact with them to the maximum: communication with such people during the crisis period requires additional mental efforts, which are useful for solving other problems.

5. The last bright symptom will be a constant understanding: “Everything is enough, I can no longer ...”

Midlife crisis in women

It is recommended to switch the focus of attention from constant inner whispers about one's own imperfection and weakness, learn to take compliments and admiring glances for granted - after all, all this is true, and you should not subject the obvious to doubt. You shouldn’t try to prove anything to anyone: “I’m a young man and a smart girl!” - this is the slogan of the crisis period.

So, the middle age crisis has come and is recognized by a woman as a fact. Do not ignore this state and try to push away unpleasant thoughts and feelings: if you do not boldly look at problems in the face and do not find a solution or at least a rational compromise, crisis phenomena can grow like a snowball, and deliver many more serious complications in a woman’s life.

The protracted midlife crisis can cause serious diseases of the cardiovascular, nervous and digestive systems

Is it possible for women to avoid this unexpected beast - a midlife crisis? Alas, this confusion is difficult to pass: sooner or later - it comes to everyone, but success in its resolution depends on the particular woman, her views on life, understanding of herself as a person and an adequate assessment of her actions and actions.

How to survive the midlife crisis with the least loss?

The midlife crisis in women, whose symptoms after 40 years of age differ little from 30 or 35 years old with the difference that a woman is getting older, is completely overcoming. The main thing is to take advantage of crisis doubts and reassessment as a chance, an impetus (or even a kick) and bring healthy, life-changing changes into the everyday existence.

Midlife crisis in women

How to make a midlife crisis in women fleeting and safe? So that the unsuccessfully experienced this period does not lead to the complete loss of oneself as an individual and to a negative perception of life in old age? Basic recommendations boil down to a few simple theses:

Treat what is happening with a natural degree of optimism: you should not exaggerate existing and re-emerging problems, but you should not close your eyes to their presence in life either.
Hobbies and professions, professions and hobbies - choose your favorite new activities. They will brighten up the usual life, will give new feelings, acquaintances, positive emotions and impressions.
Love yourself any: talented and not very, with makeup or not, with a fashionable hairstyle or shaggy, but do not forget to maintain a healthy lifestyle and take care of the attractive appearance.
Praise yourself for small successes and, moreover, serious achievements.
You should not become self-contained, break the circle of familiar communication and stop showing up in public.

You should definitely learn one indisputable truth: the quality of life often does not depend on age

The duration and severity of the crisis period depends on factors that may not be directly related to each other, but overlapping each other, can lead to a positive and negative dynamics of the process. But if we consider the crisis as an incentive for a new stage of the life of a mature and wise person, saturated with bright events, a new step of personal growth, then let it only benefit! Let the midlife crisis provide a reason for distraction from daily fuss and allow real wishes to come true.

Another tip: if the wave of crisis has covered so much that it is not possible to swim out on your own, you should turn to a professional psychologist - in some difficult cases, such help is extremely necessary.

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