What is a civil marriage for a man in terms of psychology?
The stamp begins to play a role only with some legal actions (for example, when a large loan is issued, a guarantee of an official wife will be a more significant factor than without such status) or when drawing up documents for kindergarten / school for joint children (although this is solved by obtaining additional paper on acceptance of paternity). In everyday life there is no difference between statuses: if a man assumes obligations in relation to a woman, then will he fulfill them properly, the presence or absence of a stamp plays a very mediocre role.
Why we did not immediately get married? Did not want to waste time on different pieces of paper. And formalized the relationship after the birth of his son. It was necessary to do something with housing. There, the “Young Family” program acted, and when you made a mortgage, some of the problems were removed. ”
Our fourth interlocutor focuses on the following things: registration is beneficial after the birth of a child - it is easier to resolve the issue with the extension. Everything is clear here: benefit, convenience.The second focus is on human decency. If a man is decent, he will take care of the family as if he is in a registered marriage. Conversely, if the partner is irresponsible, selfish, no marriage will fix it. So what's the point?
Perhaps this is so, only psychologists say that the official registration of marriage is a new step in the history of the family. If after 2-3 years of civil marriage (namely, such a period is considered ideal for studying each other), the spouses do not plan to register, then their relationship begins to “stagnate” in place - there is nowhere to develop. A registered marriage provides new opportunities and roles. The role of husband and wife, the role of father and mother. It teaches a wiser approach to conflicts: childishly slamming the door and leaving forever is not so easy. Teaches dispose of joint property. Teaches to be guided by the interests of the other, and not only their own (which often happens in a civil marriage). Well, when a child is born, the overall picture of the world changes, you can talk about it for a long time. And psychologically most comfortable people feel themselves in a registered marriage.
What conclusion have we come to?
And the fact that almost all the reasons listed by our interlocutors in favor of civil marriage can be challenged (about the main reason - below).
"I'm afraid of mercantile"
Mercantile person can manifest itself in a registered, and in a civil marriage. The only difference is that in civil it will be more difficult. By the way, do you really need such a person nearby?
"Registered marriage is broken about life, civil - no"
Nothing like this. Life was and always will be. Of course, the amount of work is added with the appearance of the family, it becomes necessary to take care of the spouse, children. But you can agree on everything. Honestly distribute responsibilities, cut off selfishness.
“Friends, grandmother, mom, dad do not approve the choice. We will live and run away "
So run away immediately, why suffer something? If you can not defend their love before third parties, if their opinion is so important to you. And in general, if the opinion of third parties is such a huge problem for you, what kind of marriage (civil, official) can you talk about?
"There is no time to register, I do not want to spend money"
Marriage registration does not require a lot of time, especially now the application can be submitted via the Internet.The state fee for the registration of marriage in 2017 is 350 rubles. And you do not have to organize a major celebration.
In all these pseudo-reasons lies one, the subconscious, which not everyone is ready to voice - uncertainty. Uncertainty that "I found my man." Therefore, if there is a partner by your side who has been living with you in a civil marriage for quite a long time and asserting that the stamp in the passport means nothing, don’t believe it. He is simply not ready to build a family with you.
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