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What to do if they hate me?

Hatred is a strong feeling, it does not arise spontaneously, it is impossible not to notice, it is very difficult to get rid of it. Another thing is that people often have completely different feelings, calling them hate.

How to determine that you hate

In fact, most people are able, on a subconscious level, to feel the hatred experienced by another person. It is reflected in the attitude towards you, in every gesture, look. Therefore, it makes sense to turn to nonverbalics. See if a person looks in his eyes and how he talks to you. If the jaws are squeezed during a conversation, and the smile (if available) looks tight, you can make a preliminary conclusion that you are at least disliked. At the same time they say that the words of these people are literally saturated with poison, they speak harshly, roughly, even if quite neutral things are pronounced.


The simplest and most effective way to find out the reasons for a bad attitude is the direct question: “Dear Ivan Ivanovich, please explain to me, for what my sins, do you hate me so much?”In this case, you can ignore the answer, track the reaction to your words: a person who dislikes you is likely to be confused (after all, he doesn’t expect at all that you are aware of his feelings) or he will directly drop your eyes on the reasons for his behavior. . If a person is surprised, it makes sense to reconsider your beliefs about his relationship. In this case, it is likely that the hatred of a person exists only in your head. You can read more about this in the article Why they hate me.

A separate topic is the manifestation of hostility from a group of people. Here it must be said that collectively people do not like those who stand out from the general ideas of how a representative of a certain society should look, behave and think. The root causes may be envy, which arises if a person is distinguished by his talent or appearance among others or, for example, dissatisfaction with behavior (admit to yourself if you have not had to offend people, make fun or substitute something).

What to do to remedy the situation

When you have decided on the causes of hatred, it is necessary to determine the strategy of behavior in this situation. In fact, there are several ways to respond to an aversion:

  1. Ignore. You leave everything as it is and just do not pay attention to the situation. Such an attitude is possible if the dislike of this person (people) does not offend you and does not interfere at all with effective interaction.
  2. Confrontation. You also start to hate and do everything to harm. Life on the principle of "blood for blood."
  3. Conformity. You are trying in every way to please people who dislike you, curry favor with them.
  4. Cooperation. In this case, it will be expressed in the fact that you admit your wrongdoing, if you really are guilty, and your “adversary” does the same, and in the future you will be in a relationship in which you feel comfortable (it is not necessary to start loving each other).

Of course, in terms of psychological health and constructive behavior, the latter method is considered the most appropriate. However, no one obliges you to start a dialogue right now. For a start, you can tune in positively to a person, for this you can try to pronounce a few affirmations, and stop feeling disgust for him. You will see, gradually, and his attitude towards you will change.


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